


To Love and Be Loved

by littlebark



Series: The Path Less Traveled On [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, colour soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 13:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10572651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebark/pseuds/littlebark
Summary: The world is a grey monotone place; accepted by all. It is known that love blooms more than just a relationship between a person, it brings out the colours in the world.Remus knew this, but did not expect it for himself. He had accepted his lonely path, content in the friendships he led.And then the universe decided to play one final trick on him.He was helpless do anything, no matter how hard he resisted.





	

The first time Remus Lupin sees colour, he is so startled he knocks the ink bottle he had been about to dip his quill into over. He lets out a half a curse, half apology as it makes its messy way across the table, to the girl across from him. Maggie Potter lets out an oath, mixed with laughter as she picks up her books high over her head, earning a scowl in their direction from the librarian. 

And then she turns those eyes on him, and he feels as if he is flying through the floor. He sees different shades of the same colour - what is it called? - in her eyes, eyes that not even a minute ago were normal, safe.

“Moony, the ink? Get-”

He stands, and leaving everything behind he walks out of the library. His hands are shaking, different than when he's about to transform and so much more terrifying. Remus takes a big gulp of air, then another, before letting out a long rattling breath, his heart beating furiously against his rib cage.

His eyes drift shut, and her eyes, that colour, are burned to his eyelids. Terrified, he leans against a pillar and looks up at the sky. It's colourless, as it's always been.

It's common knowledge that colours happen, eventually. It's a rite of passage, something children hear about, stories of their parents love told in a beautiful tapestry of words they cannot yet understand. Sometimes love pure and true springs up at a young age, and those lucky few enjoy not only the love of someone but also the world seen in a new way.

Every child is told they will eventually find that someone, that some day colour will come to them.

Even a child like Remus, who never worried about finding colours or someone. Not when he feared the next full moon, not when he dreaded having to tell anyone about his condition. He would gladly suffer a colourless world if it meant never having to share something so shameful with someone he supposedly cared about.

And yet, here he was, with colours in the eyes of someone he cared about deeply. The charm of the Potter’s did not skip Maggie, and she was just as caring and friendly as her cousin, James. Perhaps not as mischievous, though he'd always been grateful that some sanity was carried in the Potter gene. A year younger than James, she was quick and bright, able to make him laugh when he least felt like it. A talker he was not, and with Maggie Potter, he found he was able to listen to her create worlds and stories while he listened and enjoyed her company.

He never expected his treacherous heart would fall in love, not when he had accepted a lonely path.

Not that this changed anything, he thought firmly while his stomach twisted uncomfortably. He may be seeing colours, he may be mesmerized by the way her eyes sparkled, but he knew his path.

It had been sealed by Fenrir Greyback and it involved no one he could hurt.

*

The colours keep creeping in. 

The dark hair he'd always thought was soft now has the name black to go with it. He sees black now, something new she's introduced him to without even realizing it. Her hair shimmers beautifully when the sun hits it, and he's stunned by the beauty of it when some call it a dull colour, those lucky enough to see them.

If she notices him staring, she says nothing of it.

He learns the name of the colour of her eyes - hazel. The answer comes from James Potter, who gives him a funny look when over breakfast he asks, in what he hopes is a casual tone, “James? What colour are Maggie’s eyes?”

James pauses for a second before saying, “hazel. It's like… a green with flecks of gold. They change though, sometimes they're more green than gold and - hell, Remus. I don't know how to explain it to someone who doesn't see colours.”

Remus knows. Now that he sees the colours, he knows that the black of her hair reminds him of moonless skies, and the hazel of her eyes makes him think of the forest, with the sunlight peeking through the leaves, both warm and cool all at the same time if he stands in that spot for too long, that place he sneaks off too when he needs to be alone with his thoughts.

He lets out a soft hum. The first colour James Potter saw was Lily Evan’s hair. “What was it like?” he asks softly, lifting his eyes to James’ face, studying it. “When you saw your first colour?”

James’ face all but melts, love clear on it. “Like getting knocked off my broom. Lily’s hair… it’s bright, warm. I didn't know it, before. But red… it's warm, like sitting in front of a fire and just letting the heat bathe you.”

“Did you see colours slowly?”

His friend lets out a laugh. “No. She brought them all out in full force, I had headaches for weeks while my eyes… they hurt, for awhile. I was starving and didn't even know it.”

Remus didn't say anything. His colours were coming in slow, one here and there. It was exhausting, every time a new one began to replace the grayness of before. He could not imagine having them all appear at once. Surely it would have driven him mad.

As if he was not doing that well enough on his on.

Sirius Black strode into the Great Hall, his hair falling along his face handsomely over his face in a way Remus could never hope to achieve. He spotted them, a grin splitting across his face before he sauntered over lazily. Remus feels a wave of amazement as he sweeps his eyes him, recognizes the colour of eyes as grey. Not the monotone nothingness of before, but the colour of the rocks of the mountains Hogwarts was built on. Slate, he knows, but he can't help but think of rainy skies before a downpour.

He moves over to make space for Sirius, who's looking at his face curiously. “What's up with him? The full moon is weeks away.”

Remus looks around to make sure no one has overheard before turning to scowl at Sirius. He's running out of excuses to give classmates as to why he disappears every month, the last thing he needs is one of them figuring it out due to their carelessness.

Well. Due to their more than usual carelessness.

“Remus has been asking about colours,” James says as he looks at Sirius meaningfully.

Remus’ scowl deepens.

“Is that so?” Sirius drawls delightfully, giving Remus’ shoulder a shove. “Why Moony, I was beginning to lose hope.”

“Lots of people get their colours late in life,” he says defensively. “I'm just asking.”

“What's he asking?” Sirius asks James as he takes a sip of pumpkin juice.

James puts down the newspaper he's been reading, looking at Remus. “The colour of Maggie’s eyes.”

Sirius freezes before looking between his two friends. “Well,” he says softly.

Remus’ face heats up. “I'm just curious. I know Lily’s hair is red - like the fire, yes I know. And Tori’s eyes are cold and endless. You two go on about their colours so much, I never really hear about Maggie’s colours.”

The chatter in the Great Hall goes on, oblivious to their conversation. Eventually, James picks up his paper again and says, “we have the same eye colour, Maggie and I.”

“No, you don't,” Remus says before he can think. “Hers are more expressive than yours, there's more flecks of the gold. The green, it's-”. He stops, stunned. Horrified, he looks at Sirius, who is wearing his usual grin and at James, whose face he can't read. “James-”

He shakes his head, “you don't have to explain anything to me, Moony.”

“She's your cousin-”

“And her own person. She's capable of making her own decisions.”

Remus lets out a shaky sigh. “I don't want this. She deserves so much more.”

“And yet, she seems to like you, and your brain. It must be your brain, can't be the good looks. Otherwise she'd be tripping over me,” Sirius says with a wink.

He knows he means it as a joke, and yet he can't help the roll of jealousy that goes through his stomach. “I could hurt her.”

“I suggest you don't,” says James with a sigh. “The only way you could hurt her is by breaking her heart. If you're worried about your furry little problem… unless you're inviting her to go with you when you transform, you shouldn't even worry about it.”

“I don't want to burden her,” he mumbles but truly, what he means is I don't want to be a burden.

James, with his kind heart, smiles gently. “You're a burden on no one, Moony.”

He clings on to his words, but finds he can't quite bring himself to believe it.

*

Years pass. Maggie turns from a pretty girl to an elegant young woman. She grows into her body, looking sturdy next to Tori’s long limbs and Lily’s petite frame. Her eyes sparkle whenever she spots him and her grin rivals Sirius’ whenever she's enjoying herself.

He sees all the colours now, two years of gradual glimpses and now he sees it all. 

He now understands that he loves her.

If she knows it, she says nothing.

He finds himself in the Gryffindor Common Room. Maggie found a Muggle vinyl machine in the village and with Sirius’ help she's managed to work around Hogwart’s bizarre way of dampening Muggle objects. She squeals with delights as the first notes of a guitar starts playing, talking with Sirius excitedly about the song. The giant disc spins around and she's dancing, with Sirius joining her. They laugh, like maniacs, singing to the song, making up words when they don't know the lyrics.

He watches and his heart melts.

Beside him, Tori Lowry is standing still with a smile so uncharacteristically soft for her it stuns him. She's beautiful, watching as Sirius twirls Maggie around, their laughter intermingling - hers high and airy, his a deep quick bark. Her smile widens as they begin to play air instruments and for once her eyes don't look cold at all.

“Those idiots,” she says softly, never taking her eyes off them.

He turns to stare at them again and understands in that second that Tori is just as much an outsider as he is. He may be cursed with something he has to deal with once a month, but she is cursed with blood so pure the conflict is tearing her apart. Her fate, he knows, will be just as terrible as his.

“Yeah,” he replies as his stomach turns, looking at two people who are pure and good and innocent.

He deserves neither, and yet he's too selfish to pull away.

*

Remus finds himself at Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop, waiting for the rest of his friends to arrive. He tries not to be annoyed that they've picked this spot, where couples seem to come to cozy up to one another. He's close to losing his nerve and leaving when Maggie walks through the door, shaking her hair loose of snowflakes. She's stopped at the door by some boy in her Year, a Ravenclaw. He says something to her, leaning in to whisper and she laughs, placing a hand on his arm before shaking her head.

Then she looks in his direction, the boy follows suit and nods.

Remus looks away quickly as she makes her way over, unhooking her cloak before throwing it on the table. “Oh cheer up, Moony,” she said good naturedly as she rubs his hand. “All the affection in this room won't kill you.”

He says nothing. She's wearing a cardigan that matches the green in her eyes, which are staring at him, waiting for him to say anything. “You look nice,” he mumbles, blushes.

She smiles, kindly. Letting out a breath, her bangs flutter before coming to rest above her eyebrows again. “If you're uncomfortable-”

“I'm not.” He says it quickly, forcefully. Remus takes a breath, before smiling. “Just… loud in here.”

Maggie raises an eyebrow before nodding. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“The others-”

She waves away his comment. “I doubt they'll miss us. Come on.”

He wants to find another reason to protest, but doesn't. She’s quicker than he is, shrugging her cloak back on and out the door before he can say anything. He throws down some money for his untouched drink and hurries after her. She's headed down the main road and takes a turn towards-

No.

“Maggie!” He calls out, scrambling to catch up. She throws a look over his shoulder and for the first time since he's known her, he doesn't know what it means. Her route doesn't change and soon the Shrieking Shack is looming in front of her. She stops at the top of the hill, resting her hands on the fence that separates the village from his monthly refuge.

He feels as if he's close to being ill. His stomach rolls violently, he's shaking. The world is bright around him, the whiteness of the snow is offensive and he whips his eyes to hers, those hazel eyes he's come to love more than anything in this world.

He's terrified.

“I'm starting to miss Madam Puddifoot’s,” he says jokingly, his tongue feels like lead in his mouth. “It's cold, Maggie-Mae.”

She jerks her head once as he joins her. “Want my scarf, Moony?”

He blushes, imagining the smell of it, of her. “I'll survive. Let’s get back-”

“In a minute,” she says, turning to look back at the Shrieking Shack. “I've never actually paid attention to that place.”

“Not much to see. Just a run down place.” He tries to sound dismissive, but his head is pounding and he's unsure of what she's after.

Maggie lets out a soft hum. “I got you something,” she says as she reaches into her robes and pulls out a velvet green pouch. She holds it out for him, her lips pulled into a smile. “It's a present, Moony. It's not going to bite.”

He laughs, a choked sound. “I didn't get you anything.”

She rolls her eyes. “Present. No payback required. Will you take it?”

Remus looks at the pouch, afraid to reach for it. Gently, she solves matters by placing it in his hands.

It feels like a lifetime, her holding her hand over his. Her warmth feels excruciating and wonderful all at once. “Remus,” she breathes, pushing away the hair from his forehead. He looks up at her, at her kind eyes that are wide and hopeful. “Please?”

He can't deny her anything, and she knows it. With hands that feel like clubs, he pulls open the pouch and reaches in. Cold metal greets his touch and he pulls out a long chain. At the end of it, is a silver crescent moon charm and and in its curve is a sun. Both pieces have intertwined metal artwork in them, and it's stunning. “You got me a necklace,” he says finally, a lump in his throat as he stares at the moon.

Maggie’s fingers touch the sun charm as she says, “I was hoping you'd let me be your sunshine.”

The ground seems to shift under him. He knows what she's asking, and yet-

“I know it's a corny way to ask but-”

“I can't. Maggie, there's something you don't know about me-” Her lips quirk up again and he feels anger spike. “It's serious, Maggie.”

“I would imagine so,” she says softly, tracing the scar on his face. “Lycanthropy is never a light subject.”

The world screeches to a halt. Horrified, he recoils from her touch. He's known he's been too friendly, that he loves her. But he'd hoped she'd understand that friendship was all he could offer. At most, he worried about breaking her heart. He knew that he'd stop whatever this was if she got too close to the truth and now- 

“James told you.” Betrayal is too light for what he's feeling. His secret, one he's trusted his friends with, one that wasn't theirs to share-

She rolls her eyes again, annoyed. “Younger I may be, but I'm not clueless, Remus. I didn't need James to tell me. Nor does he know that I know.”

“How long-”

“Does it matter?” Her fury is a wonder to behold. She whips her hand back, crosses her arms over her chest. “Second year. You're careful, Remus. But I know you, and whether you like to admit it or not, you've let me in.”

This whole time. Four years of her knowing his secret, his shame and not once has she known disgust or fear. “It was a mistake.”

Maggie snarls. “Bullocks. You can wall yourself back up, fine. But I love you, and you can't stop that. No matter how much you wish you could.”

“I don't,” he breathes unsteadily. “Maggie, all my life I've lived with this. It won't ever go away, it's dangerous.”

“Kind of like you Marauders then. Good thing I've had lots of practice with you lot.” Maggie snaps angrily. “If you want me to say I'm sorry, I won't. We've danced around this long enough, and Merlin knows you won't make the first move so I did. It's up to you now, Moony. Make the leap or don't, but know I won't wait around forever.”

He lets out a laugh. “Ultimatums, Maggie-Mae?”

She scowls. “Not exactly how I wanted to start of our relationship, I'll tell you that.”

His stomach rolls again, but it's no longer squirming unpleasantly. Their relationship. Something he's wanted for so long and has been too afraid to reach for. It would make sense that his fearless Maggie would take the plunge. He looks down at the necklace in his hand and sighs. “I can't promise you more than just… that. A relationship. I can't promise you children, I-”

“Children? My, and I missed our wedding.” She grins, placing a hand on his arm. “Slow down, Remus. Let's take it day by day. See if we're any good in the sack for one.”

His face feels like it's on fire. Remus tries to choke out a response and finds he can't. 

She lets out a laugh. “And there it is. The first colour I ever saw.”

Remus stares at her, stunned. “Wait. What-”

Maggie closes the space between them and leans up, brushing her lips against his. All the air seems to vanish from his lungs as she wraps her arms around his, her fingers sliding into his hair as her lips roam over his face, his neck and finally, she rests a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “The colour of your face when I said something that made you blush,” she mutters as she looks up into his eyes. “That pink tinge, I fell in love with it. I made it my mission to say outlandish things if only to see it and your face. And then as more colours appeared, I fell in love with you over and over again. You're different shades of brown, Moony. Your hair, your eyes… I didn't know the world was so bright until you. Werewolf or not, I love you. All of you, and if you'll have me, I will be there for you in every way possible. I've seen colours since I was eleven, and I've thought it a fluke because how could you possibly love me, James’ kid cousin? But I can't change the way I feel, and I can't make the colours go away.”

“Your eyes.” He forces the words out, knows he needs to say them. “That day in the library, I spilled the ink because suddenly your eyes were different and I was scared. I don't want you to be the werewolf’s girlfriend, Maggie. It's a lonely road to travel, I won't ever be able to hold down a job.”

“I'd like to be Remus’ girlfriend, if it's alright with you.” She gazes at the Shrieking Shack, shuddering as a cold breezes hits them. “It’ll be a much less lonely road if we take it together.”

He's filled with hope, something he'd long forgotten about. The necklace is warm in his hand and he pulls back to dangle it between them. “You've always been my ray of sunshine. Will you… will you wear it? Keep it safe for me.”

Her smile is quick and bright. “I was hoping you'd say that. It truly is a lovely necklace.”

Remus laughs as she pulls back her hair while he works to place it around her neck. It sits beautifully between her collarbones and for once, the sight of the moon does not fill him with dread. “Let's go back, Maggie-Mae. The others-”

“Already know.” Maggie says with a sheepish grin. “Madam Puddifoot’s was Sirius and James’ idea. Something about sucking face. Tori and Lily thought about a walk, this place… that was all me. I thought… you must dread coming here every full moon, to that building. But now… on this hill -which you can see from the Whomping Willow, I'll have you know- is the spot where you stopped being afraid of the future. I can't stop the cycle of the moon, and I would if I could. But all you need to do is look this way as you go in and remember that I'll be waiting for you the next day. You just need to get through that night, need to come back to me. I'll be waiting for you.”

He's finds that nothing he'll say will be as wonderful as the gift she's given him. “Just get through the night,” he whispers as he curls her hand into his and raises it to his lips.

They walk back to the village in silence, disrupted only by the ambush of the Marauders, Lily and Tori and the loud whooping they let out at the sight of Maggie’s hand in his.

*

Life has taken a turn, so many tolls he's tired and dreads simple encounters with people.

It's just him and Maggie now.

That's not entirely accurate, he realizes as he hands the four year old the cut up apple she's requested. Karina Black begins to bite down into it, laughing at the cold feel of it on her tongue. Her parents are gone, and so are James and Lily, their son gone until he turns eleven. 

Peter is dead, killed by the man they all thought a friend, when truly he had been a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He eventually tore all of them apart. Remus turns away from those thoughts, from the anger he pretends is long buried and goes to the counter to answer some mail. Kari asks for juice - shrieks, if he's honest and then sends him an innocent look. She knows they've talked about inside voice, or rather her lack of. It's a look all too familiar, her father used it countless times in their youth. He didn't fall for it then, and he's not falling for it now.

Remus works his way to the fridge, glancing at the clock on the wall. It's close to seven, and Maggie will be home soon. With a flick of his wand, the spices begin to season the chicken he's prepared, the vegetables are cut. She managed a day shift at St. Mungo’s, his stubborn Maggie working as a healer’s assistant while she works towards the day she can be called healer. Her compassion shines in her work, her determination is evident in every patient she sends out the door. Her heart breaks when she loses one to Death, and her resolve strengthens to make sure she can do all she can to make sure the next goes home.

It had been a surprising path for her, at the end of their schooling, when she'd been unsure of what to do. And then she'd started talking about healers, specifically for those who were going through lycanthropy. Of course, the pay that goes with it is nice, even nicer is the understanding of her team when she requests a night off every month, so she may be home with Kari while Remus undergoes his transformation. He's grateful for it, for her, for the surprising turn their life has taken, even for all the heartache for without it they would not be as strong as they are now.

At half past seven, he glances towards the door, and reckons she must've gotten held up at the hospital.

At eight, his stomach begins to flutter. Even when she's late, she finds a way to let him know. A side effect of the war, even though they're long past it.

He's picking up toys when the headache hits him. It's blinding, the pain has him gripping his head as a cry escapes him. 

“‘Emus. Okay? Hurt?”

Remus waves his hand at Kari, who has stopped playing to walk over to him. Intuitive like her mother, she's reaching out to him, placing her small hands on his cheeks as he sinks down to the floor. When he opens his eyes, his blood runs cold.

Somehow, someway, the colour of Kari’s eyes is fading. Slowly, he watches in horror as the brown that reminds him of the soil in the forest after a heavy rain begin to give way to grey.

_Grey._

It can only mean one thing and he knows it, and he lets out a wail of despair as he scoops up Kari, ignoring her cries of surprise as she clings onto him, burying her face in his neck. The faster he moves, the quicker the colours slide away, and he finds himself out of breath, out of warmth.

He's not thinking logically, and he knows it but doesn't care. Without hesitation, he runs out of the apartment, to the kind neighbour who is in love with Kari and bangs on the door until she opens, unable to form sentences. The neighbour is stunned at first but quickly understands and takes the distressed Kari into her arms.

Remus ducks back in to grab his wand, apparating to St. Mungos. The staff is bewildered by his look, by the craziness in his eyes as he begins to demand answers.

She's been gone for hours.

She'd gone to Lily and James’ grave, one of her friends said, to talk to them before her wedding this Saturday.

It hits him like a train, the memory of his proposal, of her surprise. At them agonizing over dates before settling on one, he bright smile on her face.

He's losing her, and he doesn't even know where to look. She's leaving him, and they still have so much left to do. The world seems to freeze around him as the gravity of the situation hits him.

Maggie Potter is dying.

Before the thought overtakes him, he apparates to Godric’s Hollow, the sudden rush of movement leaving him retching as nausea hits him.

When his insides calm down enough and he stops swaying, he opens his eyes and finds that he can't move.

The world around him is grey, monotone, liveless, once more.

She's gone.

Remus staggers forward, one clumsy step after the other before he finally sinks to the ground. He's terrified, dull, angry and finds that he can't go into the cemetery. To go in there would mean to confirm what he already knows. His eyes are shut, unable to take the mocking of the colourless world around him. He knows she's in there, that her body is in there and perhaps whoever did this to her, them, is still there.

With a recklessness that even Sirius Black would caution him of, Remus stands and whips his wand out. He can finish this, he knows he can.

A voice that sounds eerily like Maggie says, at the cost of your soul. Don't do this, Moony.

He's not ready to hear his fiancée’s voice in his head, not yet, not when this morning she'd laughed at his sleepy expression and told him she love him.

She would never tell him she loves him again.

He didn't get to say goodbye.

He is alone.

“Remus.” He has been so distracted that he didn't hear the soft pop to signal a new arrival. Albus Dumbledore is next to him, looking pale. “She sent for me. Is she-”

Remus turns his tired eyes towards a man he respects and says numbly, “I can't see colours anymore.”

Dumbledore’s eyes drift shut. “I'm sorry.”

Sobs rips from Remus’ chest, he's unable to control this monster, this grief, and he finds himself being consoled by Dumbledore. He says nothing, letting Remus shed this first wave of emotions.

It's only bound to get worse.

*

The years that followed Maggie’s death were some of the hardest. Kari was placed in a home of Tori’s choosing beyond the grave in the form for a will that meant not even Sirius knew where she went.

No one is willing to hire a werewolf, not for long, and he finds himself a drifter, a loner, the man he thought he would become as a boy when this reality was only a bad dream.

Dumbledore shows him kindness once again and he finds himself teaching at Hogwarts. Teaching Harry Potter and Kari Black, tiny versions of their parents without them even realizing it.

He loves them both so much.

When the Dark Lord returns, he's back to the job he had during the first war. Who better to spy on werewolves than a werewolf?

This time he has no Maggie waiting for him at home. And though she's been gone nearly ten years, the pain never truly changes.

Each mission he goes on now feels like a suicide mission, and he's relieved to find he's not scared. He's resigned, he knows it's dangerous work and only the thought of Kari and Harry keep bringing him back.

“Remus.” 

He looks up at the sound of his name, nods before lifting a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth. Nymphadora Tonks stands before him, pouring two cups of coffee and yawning sleepily. She makes his way towards him, so much focus on his face as she balances the mugs that it's comical.

“I don't want coffee, thanks.” She's been kind to him, and interested in his life. Better to cut that friendship down before he can lose her.

She makes a face at him. “Never said anything about offering one to you, did I? These are for me.” And with that, she sips on the first mug as she sits down, a look of happiness on her face that makes no logical sense. It's only coffee.

Tonks grins at him, at his bewildered expression. A laugh escapes him. She's lovely, young and energetic. Remus is so used to being alone, that whenever she is around he noticed her more than he probably should.

She is kind to him.

And her hair is pink.

Startled, Remus pushes back from the table, staring at her with wide eyes. He feels nothing and everything all at once. His skin is crawling, his mind is a puzzle of shattered thoughts and he can't find his voice to tell her she needs to leave.

Her hair is _pink._

Without a word, he stands and walks out of the room, up the stairs until the reaches Sirius’ bedroom, ignoring her voice as she calls his name with concern. His friend has not lost the gauntness from Azkaban but he is here when he thought that he was gone from him forever.

“Tonks’ hair is pink,” he said clearly and loudly.

Sirius blinks at him. “You love Tonks?”

“I nothing Tonks,” he says angrily but he knows he's not being entirely truthful. He may not love her, but he cares for her. They've done several missions together, and he admires her dedication, her ability and spirit. That doesn't make her his soulmate. “I can't love Tonks, Padfoot. Not after…”

“I know,” says Sirius gravely and Remus’ believes him. He lost his colours before Remus, when Tori took poison meant for Kari. “Maggie wouldn't want you to be alone.”

“Neither would Tori,” he retorted.

Sirius scoffed. “I have Kari. That's more than enough to deal with.”

He thinks of Maggie, his lovely Maggie with her hazel eyes and jet black hair.

He thinks of Tonks, with the grin forever plastered on her face and a laugh so infectious he can't help but join in.

He thinks of a future he thought he longer had.

Her hair is pink.  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This has been swirling in my head for ages; Remus Lupin is by far my favourite character in the series and Maggie Potter has lived in my mind nearly as long as Karina Black. So, of course, I had to put both of them through some anguish.


End file.
